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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24412879">dear catra</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_like_ships/pseuds/i_like_ships'>i_like_ships</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Another take on Adora's letter to catra, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, Sad, grieving catra, like she gets comforted but not really</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:42:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,313</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24412879</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_like_ships/pseuds/i_like_ships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear Catra,<br/>Mistakes. We make a lot of them during our life. Some small, some big. Some petty ones and some regretful ones.<br/>Life is full of mistakes.<br/>I should know, since I’ve made a lot. My biggest mistake? Leaving. </p><p>Or</p><p>Catra finds a letter addressed to her, from the person she couldn't save.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra &amp; Glimmer (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>dear catra</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If Adora didn't survive the heart, and my longer, sadder version of Adora's letter to catra (found in the handbook)<br/>And catra reads it</p><p>Also it's my birthday soon. Joy, I'm one year closer to dying.</p><p>edit: this random, but  the amount of kudos is 69 ;)<br/>thank you for reading it :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dear Catra,<br/>
Mistakes. We make a lot of them during our life. Some small, some big. Some petty ones and some regretful ones.<br/>
Life is full of mistakes.<br/>
I should know, since I’ve made a lot. My biggest mistake? Leaving. If I had a choice, if I could erase my mistake, I would. I would come back, convince you to come with me.<br/>
Because I don’t want to fight you, I don’t want for us to be enemies. I wish we could turn back time to when we were kids, when we were carefree and happy. When we would play tricks on Kyle, and tease each other about kid things. We'd have races, and you’d always beat me ‘cause I was ‘too slow’. We'd play hide and seek, and you always won that <em> as well <em> because you could always climb to places it took me ages to reach, and by the time I was there, you’d be gone. And our sleepovers, where you'd steal ration bars for me, we'd wrestle with each other, and we'd stay up all night whispering about... you know.<br/>
I wish you knew how much I miss you. But... you'll never see this, and so you'll never know.<br/>
I miss your laugh, the way your eyes would sparkle when you beat me, the warmth of your body next to mine. I miss your attitude and your playfulness, your courage. You were always so brave, in ways I could only imagine being. I miss all the little things you’d do for me, because only now I notice how much I was used to them and how much I long to see you - not on opposite sides of a battlefield - but how you and I used to be, and we that could carry on together. Because I promised you that it would always be the two of us against the world, and I broke that promise.<br/>
I’m sorry for that.<br/>
I loved you, you know? You meant so much to me. You were my everything. You were the reason I wanted to be Force Captain — not because I wanted to have more power, but because I wanted to be ranked high enough so I could stop Shadow Weaver from hurting you anymore. You wouldn't believe me if I told you though, you were always so stubborn. <s> I love that about you </s> .<br/>
When I first left, I should’ve tried harder to bring you with me, away from the Horde, instead of letting you slip through my grasp and letting you fall deeper into their darkness. I had hope that you would see the wrong and join the good side. Join <em> me. <em> <s> And we'd be together again. </s><br/>
But I was wrong, and I wish I wasn’t, no matter how selfish that sounds. <br/>
Any hope I had for us has left me. The person I knew is gone. Gone forever, and now you are another cold, distant enemy I must fight.<br/>
But not faceless. Because no matter how hard I try, I can't hate you. Why can't I hate you? It would make every so much easier.<br/>
I know you hate me, though. I understand why, but you'll always hold a place in my heart, be my <em> one who got away. <em> I hate that.<br/>
Everytime we fight, it tears apart my heart, because I can see the hatred in your heterochromic eyes, eyes that used to gaze into mine with such tenderness. And right now, it is broken; shattered into thousands of pieces because of you.<br/>
If I had three wishes I would use them on you. I’d wish you’d join me, wish you’d go back to how you were before, wish we could be happy together. <br/>
When I think of you, I'm going to try remember the good things about you, like the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, how you always gave me a smug grin, and all our good memories together. Because the bad things crush my already broken heart.<br/>
<s> Sometimes </s> Often I wonder what happened to us? To the girl I used to know?<br/>
But now, it is too late for you to change and for me to go back.<br/>
<s> But I still love you </s> I’m sorry.</em></em></em></em></em></em></p><p>
  <em>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
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            <em>Yours forever,<br/>
Adora</em>
          </em>
        </em>
      </em>
    </em>
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</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
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            <em>***********************</em>
          </em>
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  </em>
</p><p>Catra stared at the paper, eyes tracing the shape of every letter until the words were forever embedded in her mind, words in Adora's familiar, neat, printed handwriting.<br/>
A tear fell down her cheek, leaving a gleaming trail behind it. The letter was somewhat crumpled at the edges, and she tried her best not to tear it from gripping it too hard.<br/>
After all, it was all that was left of Adora now. That, and memories.<br/>
A knock on the door of could've been <em> their <em> room startled her.<br/>
"Hi," Glimmer said nervously, poking her head in.<br/>
"Hey Sparkles. Come to torment me?" Catra snarked, regretting it when Glimmer's eyes watered. "Sorry," she hastily mumbled. "I'm just..."<br/>
"Can I come in?" Glimmer asked softly.<br/>
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Catra moved, leaving space on what used to be Adora's bed. Glimmer sat, leaving a considerable amount of space between the two.<br/>
"Hey," she repeated.<br/>
"Hello," Catra responded, her voice croaky, and her gaze fixated on the letter.<br/>
"I know this is hard for you," Glimmer began, before trailing off.<br/>
"Well, her dying in my arms is definitely easy to get over," she said, voice laced with anger.<br/>
The Queen of Brightmoon sighed. "I... I know how much you two meant to each other. And... I'm sorry."<br/>
"Sorry?" Catra spat. <em> "Sorry? <em> Sorry doesn't <em> fix <em> anything. It doesn't remove the pain. It doesn't make the flashes, the memories disappear." her voice softened, and when she spoke, Glimmer had to strain her ears to hear the heartbroken words. "It doesn't bring Adora back."<br/>
"I know it doesn't. But... she was my friend too, and I <em> know <em> our bond wasn't as strong as yours, and I can't begin to fathom the hurt you've been through, but could you let us help you? Please. Adora wouldn't want you to suffer like this."<br/>
Catra swallowed thickly. "I... when we were in the Heart," she mumbled. "I don't know hy I'm telling you this, but she was almost... she almost made it."<br/>
A broken, raw sob escaped her, but she continued speaking. "She was so close. <em> So close. <em> We almost had a happy ending. Together. I asked, begged her to stay..."<br/>
"But she couldn't," Glimmer finished. She scooted closer, and wrapped a comforting arm around the other girl. "She never gave up on you, y'know? Never. Even when you opened the portal, or... scarred her, she would always look at me and go, 'Catra can change'. And she was correct."<br/>
"Was she?" Catra asked tiredly.<br/>
Glimmer suppressed her urge to roll her eyes. "Yes, she was. And Adora never really said it, but she missed you. A lot. Sometimes, she couldn't sleep because of it. She never gave up on you."<br/>
"I.. I told her I loved her. But. I don't know if she ever loved me back." Her voice was unsteady and hoarse.<br/>
"She did," the queen pointed at the end of the letter, where something had been crossed out before the 'I'm sorry'.<br/>
Catra glanced at the mess, nor bothering to attempt to make out the words behind the frantic scribbles.<br/>
"Look," Glimmer insisted. "Look at all the things she's crossed out."<br/>
And so the magicat did, and when she figured out the words, she couldn't help the way her mouth fell open and how tears welled up in here bloodshot eyes.<br/>
<em> But I still love you. </em><br/>
She loved me, Catra thought, eyes wide.<br/>
She loved <em> me, despite all my flaws.  </em><br/>
A soft laugh forced its way out of her. "Adora always was stubborn."<br/>
"Yeah," Glimmer agreed, a tiny smile etched on her face.<br/>
Catra returned it. "That's one of the billion things I love about her."</em></em></em></em></em></em></em></em></em></em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Sorry for any mistakes<br/>Kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day :)</p><p>I've tried multiple times but like italics doesn't work properly and I'm pissed.. so I'm sorry it's not as good as it could be</p></blockquote></div></div>
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